What is the Goal?

This year is the year I’m focusing on transformation in my life. I’m looking to create something BIG though. Something deep.

I want to go wayyyyyy beyond “lose ___ pounds blah blah blah” and instead pave a way for people of all body types -including my own- to be empowered, to feel loved, to discover their strength & true beauty.

I’m not trying to be skinny again.

I’m not trying to look like a supermodel or a Victoria’s Secret ad.

I actually love my body as it is, but I really want to FEEL better in it. Have more flexibility, less pain.  Increase my strength & endurance.  Not have a panic attack when an occasion calls for a fancy dress.

I’m not even remotely interested in starting another gym membership because, sorry, I hate the gym. Always have, and I’m okay with that.

And damn it, I love to eat actual food. I’m all for eating clean and making healthy food choices, but there’s no damn way I’m going to give up things like flavor, texture, variety, chewing…

I KNOW there is a way. I KNOW what I am going to do. And I AM going to celebrate every minute of the journey!  Stay tuned for an opportunity to join me!

The Year of Love

For the past couple of years, I’ve given up traditional New Year’s Resolutions in favor of focusing instead on just one word, and making that my theme, my touchstone for the year ahead. This year’s word has been Love.  And man, did I need it.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”  Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

2015 was such a year for me.

Rich and ripe with incredible experiences, feelings, emotions, laughter, pain, tears, joy, numbness. Mostly though, and through it all, it was a year of Love.

2015 was the year that I laid my father to rest after losing him to Alzheimer’s.  The pain and struggle our family endured over the past three years pales in comparison to living life without my Dad.

2015 was the year that I agonized over the best course of action in providing daily care for my brother, who has autism spectrum disorder- and who has lived his entire life with our father.

2015 was the year that I had to ask my only child- who despite being a wonderful human with many talents, has struggled in recent years with finding a solid job- to move out on his own and make his own way in order to truly embrace life as an adult.

This was the year that I gave up all but one of my side-hustles and decided to finally give myself more fully to my writing, instead of just working on other people’s projects… which led to this blog, this website, and my two first solo projects being published. Not only published, but purchased & praised!

It is the year that I could finally look at myself in the mirror and give back Love, Acceptance, Forgiveness, Peace instead of shame and blame.

As part of my Year of Love, I checked another major life-long dream off my bucket list when I went on a Caribbean cruise this year. Bonus that it was with my sweetheart and some great friends!  And on that cruise I faced two of my biggest fears (heights & drowning) head on by swimming with stingrays and dolphins, climbing up a waterfall, jumping off a cliff into water, and zip-lining over the ocean.

2015 has been the year that I learned just how deeply I am loved, and that carrying additional weight or aging doesn’t make me somehow less lovable.  I am worthy of Love from myself, and from others, just because I exist.

So as the last days of 2015 wind down, I embrace them. I am grateful for each moment. I continue to look for tiny ways to show Love to my family, my friends, and my world, even as I look forward to a new word for 2016 and the magic of a new year of a life fully lived.

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#MondayMantra I Am Worthy & Deserving of Good Things

Monday Mantra: I am Worthy and Deserving of Good Things

If you have ever struggled with feeling unworthy of having good things happen to you, or if you feel uneasy enjoying good things in your life, let today be the day that you begin to change your story.

It does not make you selfish.

It does not mean you are greedy.

It simply means that as a human being, you are a magnificent miracle. You are alive. And no matter who may have made you feel “less than” in your past, YOU ARE AMAZING.  You DO matter. And above all that noise, you DO deserve good things. Open your heart and your mind today to receive good things! ❤

“I am Worthy, and Deserving of Good Things!” ~The Blessings Butterfly

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#MondayMantra “I Forgive You”

Today was the Winter Solstice, and the energy was intense!

Sun has set several hours ago here on the West Coast and I’m well into the longest night. I hear the soothing sounds of rain falling outside the bedroom window, and my Love breathing softly beside me as he drifts off to sleep.

I have been offering forgiveness throughout the day to those who have hurt me, betrayed me, offended me, annoyed me. I have been releasing many burdens, some small, others massive. Each release is palpable as my muscles relax a bit, my teeth cease to grind, and I feel lighter, more free.

Tomorrow, when the Sun rises again, I will have so much more light to welcome into these freshly freed up spaces in my heart.

 

#FridayFeels: Adventurous!

If you’re anything like me, the day before a big trip feels almost overwhelming with energy… Last minute checklists, frantic shopping for that one thing (what am I missing? Where’s my list?)… Prepping your home/pets/office for your time away… It can be a little nutso, and instead of being in-the-moment you might become frazzled. Total buzz-kill!

I’m intentionally carving out these next few hours to daydream about the awesome adventures awaiting me. I’m purposefully realigning the energy in me and around me to feel more blissful, less chaotic.  Whatever doesn’t get done can wait until I get back, because baby, I’m feeling ADVENTUROUS!